My inability to repress thoughts and process issues effectively has made me have a long history of anxiety and depression.
There’s no logical reason why it cripples, but thankfully, you get better at managing the freckles– it may be something unwanted but its presence enhances your beauty.
It’s easy to look at it in a bad way because of how it’s affected you or someone close to you, but for me it’s destructive beauty.
The infinite number of things it has allowed me to deal with have been crucial in ensuring I get a quality life. The existential questions, self reflection, past hurt and mistakes, relationships, friendships; have caused me to redefine concepts that are integral for my upkeep. And as such, an endless love for life and self have been yielded.
All I know is that every time I have an episode I come out craving life and all that makes me feel alive.
Not to lessen its weight and burdenous nature, it definitely isn’t dancing in the rain and threatens your sanity every waking moment, but sometimes it takes dancing in the rain to feel something other than complete sadness.
There’s just something about thinking. Something wonderful about enlightment. Something spiritual about the interconnectedness of brain cells to make sense of the world or create a new world.
I am love-struck I tell you!
All I’m saying is you don’t have to be the most intelligent person but if you have the ability to think on your own you’re my fascination. *wink wink*
That being said, my mind is my most invaluable piece and the catalyst to my whole being. So when it works against me the loss is experienced in a special way.
It weakens every bit of me and shrinks me to be less than I am. My powers become deceased, my existence questionable, it’s my Kryptonite. The very thing that can challenge my being and make even the strongest feeble.
One discerning thing I’ve found is, my mind may be my weakness at times but like kryptonite it’s also a source of great power.
It causes me to transcend beyond what we call life, seek greater meaning and fulfilment in relationships, experiences, connectivity with earth and all that surrounds us. To find happiness in simplicity; cause it’s the simple things in life that make life really worth living.
If you’re struggling… you’re not doing it alone. I can’t speak for the rest but for me, every life lost to it is a loss I experience personally. I know what it means to be dangling on the edge of life and death.
Some unsolicited advice: Don’t run in fear, embrace what you’re experiencing and watch it work for you!
You have no idea what your mind could do for you if you let it. So just let it 😉
Keep breathing, it only goes up from here my love.
From someone who actually gives a damn❤.